Calling all fire-breathing rubber duckies. This blog's here for your daily dose of laughter. ;DAsk me anything ツ
when I was six I threw a tantrum because I wanted a slushie from 711 and I remember my dad said “I will never buy you a slushie” AND LITERALLY RIGHT NOW HE CAME IN THE CAR WITH A SLUSHIE AND I WAS LIKE WHY DIDNT YOU GET ME ONE AND HE LOOKED ME DEAD IN THE EYE AND SAID “REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE SIX”
- Me: Oh, hey whoa, this shower is occupied.
- Spider: Omg man I didn't see you there.
- Me: We cool?
- Spider: Yeah, yeah, we're cool. I'm just coming down to scope out the tub.
- Me: Oh, that's legit. Hey, you might wanna move over some--you're descending right into the shower stream and I don't want you to drown.
- Spider: Hey thanks, bud. I'll be careful.
- Me: So...can I get out now?
- Spider: Sure, sure! Sorry I'll just move over here.
- Me: Thanks. You have a nice night. Don't come into my bedroom, okay?
- Spider: Nah, that's your space. We're cool. Have a great evening.